INFP

i 've taken a personality test recommended by the leadership book i'm reading. I found that i can only be aware of different things about myself, and there's some things i can never change about myself. I've taken a test, and tested as a INFP or Introvert, intuition, feeling, perceiving person. Famous people who are INFP are Julia Roberts and John F. Kennedy Jr. INFP's are people who see the big picture and don't do well with small details. They are 'feelers' and find Thinkers to be cold and too distant, or objective. This is true. Most INFP's are deeply committed to things PERSONALLY inspired by personal events directly. I find this is true about myself with nick and the loss of him. I would find strict schedules to be 'imprisoning' and do well with Theoritical and philosophical debates. Other famous INFP's are Virgin Mary, Homer, Virgil and that's all i could remember. I was disappointed that no one i admire is an INFP. A famous INFJ, (judge not a perceiver) is Martin Luther King Jr.
If you google Carl Jung MBTI personality test, you too can find your personality type.

THe whole point the book is trying to point out, is that if you learn yourself and your own personal type, then you can learn your strengths and weaknesses. One can also learn other people's types as well. I guess i have a rare personality type because most women are Feelers, and 75% of the population are extroverted and 75% are thinkers, and Sense based, not Intuitive.

So i'm really in the minority here, so my feelings of "being different" are quite real to me. Also with my family's deep history, i even feel more unique.
I regret leaving the church to dive into my music venture, and i regret smoking weed and corrupting my body, but that was somehting i was destined to do.
Now, like a returned Jonah, like the return of the prodgical son, i am absolutely finished with sleeping with pigs! and am absolutely tired of sleeping in the stomach of a whale!
Return me to the city so i can share the gospel! I can do the work of peace, God, and am prepared to die for it!
MLK says, "peace is something you stand for, if you don't make a stand for peace , then you are standing for war!"
He also says, if you're not prepared to die for something you're not fit to live

I've realized that Marcus, my old friend, was a thinker, and i always thought he was too distant, and never "gave" himself enough. I thought he was a tight ass, and never exerted enough energy because he was always "too tired". I would call him to hang out, and he would always, "just stay home for the night".
That irritated the holy hell out of me. why? because i was going thru some really tuff shiz bit, and needed some help. But i looked in the wrong direction.
He would always complain about his parents, but over time he learned to appreciate them. He was very very secretive with his weed, and that was also in his personality. There was always something he "wouldn't tell you". and would always "remain quiet". He would watch, not participate, and just wait. That kind of attitude i am learning is not enough. We need people to take a stand for what you believe in. watching is n't enough, we need people to take up the cross!
For MLK's holiday i went to Tri city park and picked up 1 full trash bag filled with trash. The world in my opinion is a total mess, and i'm apart of the solution!
One guy asked, "so you're doing this volunterily?"
"yup, for martin's holiday! Pick up your trash and don't litter!" i said to him
"i don't make trash and i don't clean it up, hopefully" He said.

THis is the kind of attitude i hate the most.
MLK says, "the are reserved seats in hell for people that stand lukewarm"

I'm over my friendship with marcus, it was really a negative influence. In retrospect, all the people he introduced me to were drug users, and one of his friends actually became a drug addict. Was marcus man enough to actually visit him in the hospital? No marcus' attitude was "the rescuer becomes the victim".
That was his motto, "never reach you're hand out to someone because they're just going to pull you down with them."
How ironic that he was the one who pulled me down! All he really introduced me to were pot heads, and people that abused alcohol. I am so liberated from his friendship. the greatest favor he ever did for me was let our friendship run its course.
The greatest thing i ever said to him was, "sometimes when you put a leaf in a pond, it goes the other way."
I am so glad i scraped him off of me!

THis leader ship book i'm reading asks, "what is your purpose in life?"
I think my purpose is to live in a higher path, taking up my cross, and being an example to the people that fallen inside the cracks of society. I believe absolutely that people are influenced from the environment around them, both postively and negatively. If everyone is influenced by their environment, then how do i enter the environment, armed with the ATTITUDE and begin making ripples in the pond of our YOUTH?
I COME FROM THE COMMONWEALTH, THE BROKEN HOME, THE DRUG USER, THE DEPRESSED, MALADJUSTED TEEN WHOSE COME FULL FORCE INTO THE LIGHT.
I AM EMPOWERED TO START A NEW PROCESS OF RENDERING LIGHT

For the month of january, i actually am still doing volunteer work for the homeless. Caring for other people, seeing them in a new situation, changing or adding to my own perspective.
See the problem with intellectuals is that they spend their energy thinking and not doing.

I want to continue with my education, and finish it. I'll probably graduate when i'm 26-27.
I stand on the values that human beings all have the potential for good. I stand on the belief that love, and prayer are ways to keep the heart soft, and open to the messages of God behind the veil of the universe. I believe, absolutely in my heart, that my goal is not to make a vast fortune of riches, but to start a postive change to the youth of america. I want to restore, absolutely, what i never had in my family, and in myself. I want to return to my full potential and purity it. I want to be forgiven, and punished for all the wrong i've done in my life. I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILTY OF MIS DIRECTED MY STEPS, BUT AM NOW READY TO WALK ON THE PATH OF WHAT IS 'RIGHT', I AM READY THAT I CAN NOT DO IT ALONE.

i've dug myself into a mud pit, that has taken me many many years, and it will take me many more years to dig myself out of it.

If i can empower myself to overcome all these negative forces that tried to pull me down, that actually have taken me down and defeated me, and actually STAND AND GET BACK UP, then i can have a testimony to share with people and other human beings.

I pray that the door opens for me to someday begin a community project, or a global project to places in the world that are evil.

I believe absolutely that there is a spiritual war of good and evil, warring for my soul. and it is my decision whether or not to decide to live with painstaking excellence toward the benevolence concerning my work for OTHERS, or whether to live selfishly for myself.

I DECIDE TO LIVE FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS.

HOW CAN AN INFP PERFORM LEADERSHIP...that's what this blog is all about, and i'm starting it with my own damn bicycle.