Distance

One of my biggest pet peeves is "anti-socialism". I have no problem calling out people who are "afraid" to communicate and spend time with other human beings... This really urks me.

So i thought that i had a bible, but it never really belonged to me anyway.. I asked my aunt who said, "let me write in the bible for you..." and today i asked my aunt, "so when do you think i'll get the bible back?"
She answered, "probably not for awhile."

Cool. that is the beauty of asking direct questions.
Lesson #1 - Nobody is honest.

I am currently aware of the "vibe" that i give off. People usually feel more comfortable from a 'distance' from me. That's interesting. It definitely has to do with how i was raised.

I slept in from church today, felt like a bum, but the rest is what i needed. I was supposed to get up at 4am and drive on over to the mercy house. But i've been sick, so i decided to sleep in.

I'm currently under a lot of 'tension', and have no one really to speak with.

Lesson #2
The people i think i'm close with, aren't really that close to me.
The people i want to be close with, i have to make friends with

I noticed that biting my nails is a sign of stress.

I still haven't drank beer, or smoked any pot.
I eaten a few pieces of meat. I've had 2 crab sticks, pasta cooked with meat sauce, and i think some other things.

I had lunch with my friend the other day and enjoyed the time very much with her. She asked me directly, "where do you get your motivation from?"
"you're such a typical guy"
i do very much like her, but i think she is extremely spoiled.

Peet peev #2
Spoiled people, spoiled kids, and people that are comfortable with themselves, their environment, their lives. people that have become complacent, comfortable, and 'settled'.
The reason i feel this way with people who've "stopped" caring about change, newness, exploring, and traveling, is because i'm young and without any strong footing in my life i suppose.

I just spoke with Angel from the newspaper, and I learned about the upcoming february issue for the fullerton observer. I 'm writing a piece on homelessness. My goal is to come up from a statistical point of view written with a slight humanitarian undertone. I think the human element will be too strong if i 'focus' the piece toward that. My goal is to NOT get the reader to say, "oh that was a nice interview/story with a homeless person". My primary goal is to have the reader say, "wow there is alot of homelessness around me, i better make sure i have a couple of bucks on me at all times.

Life lesson #3
NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, YOU'RE EITHER JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER, OR EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FATHER.
i'm fortunate because i've had no real father in my life, so that leaves more room to 'vamp' my identity!


I am glad to have started a blog because i feel like I have more "cyber privacy", rather than myspace. The crappy thing with myspace is that i knew who the people reading my blog was. This eventually corrupted the topics i chose to write about. Now i'm glad no one knows about this blog. If i am forced to i will even post "phony blogs" so people can interpret a socialized persona of a 'more acceptable' version of myself with the true purpose of making others more comfortable with spending time with me.

Oh yes, I just bought a bicycle, and can NOT wait to ride it!

This month my goals are:
1) finish my intercession course
2) keep good attendance at work
3) go to the beach
4) start regular school session
5) go to church on sundays
6) finish my book
7) Continue going to Mercy House
8) write an article.

All is fun under the sun

I found a new hang out spot in fullerton: that's amore pizza!
Serves great Iced tea.

Peace out.

I think my friend's birthday is 1/27, so i should call her up and take her to the beach or somethng.

Peace.