The Disappointment

You know I just learned something...
The major point in life is the journey inside. The dealing with wounds, and seeing through people, actions, events, and staring at the diamond inside the mind. We tend to put blemishes on the diamonds in our minds with cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. Sometimes we want to become "blurry".
So with relationships we face disappointment, and rejection. These are the walls that stop us, and make us angry. make us realize how others really see us. and how little I really am. and so we get angry.
We struggle with the demands others put on us. "oh well I can't date her because she went to private school" or "oh, fuck, she has her master's, I don't.. so maybe I should aim differently".
but the truth is money, careers, economic prosperity, do not solve interpersonal relationships. Relationships are much more simple. very simple. (shared time)

So I text a friend and said, "yo, put the good word in for me with your friend.."
I was just asking for a good word for a hang out/ and or maybe a date. he said "haha your funny".
and then I felt angry. Aren't we friends? you don't have a good word to say? you don't think she's ready? and then disappointed because I didn't get what I wanted. but I realized there are more problems when forcing our desires. "i want" , "I like" .. these egos cause us to blame others. "she doesn't" "she needs to.." but in reality, we need to stare at us in the inside, and realize that there is something within ourselves that we need to see more clearly. pain prevents us from going beyond.