Published

I recorded my speech, and it came out okay... i talk alot about stuff... going to post it tomorrow to everyone... and it will be interesting. for me, it is about declaring what i believe and now to live by it.

I haven't really been walking by the spirit. haven't really been reading the word. i've been struggling with celibacy, and have talked openly about it. i feel like i haven't been "walking" a good faith these past few weeks, only because i've missed church for like a month.

but i think it is good to stray from church and walk into friendships with people. I've really have grown close with scott, and have been learning about love and kindness through it, even though we are completely different.

I guess i'm just real.. real in my flaws and real with my blessings. i still pray to God, but i don't like to give him my laundry list.
my recent prayer was this, "god you know how much sufferring my life has been, i wonder if you see me as blessed. it says in the scriptures, "blessed is the cause of the fatherless... do you see me as blessed cuz i don't."

i've prayed for my friends and family. my heart has definitely been bitter.

trying to work on celibacy, and diet.. and exercise. i have spoke to scott about my doubts about the "holy spirit", and said stuff... but all i know for sure is that I am commanded to "love my neighbor as myself."

signing off.

Can't wait for the 4th. gonna tag EVERYONE in my video except michaela darling... i think she would view it as a selfish attempt for attention... so i'll leave her out of it.

School has been on my mind. i want to move out of state. i want to become involved more with civil justice. the day job is okay but i have a higher purpose...